Day 3: 2-Minute Warning

When watching sports have you ever noticed how many time warnings there are? In particular, I think about football and the last two minute warning. Men are focused creatures. They have a goal. They divide. They conquer. In addition to that, they have a timer going in their head that lets them know when they should move onto the next task. In the football example, a touchdown might be be pursued with greater intensity once they hear the 2 minute warning. The goal must be accomplished and now time is dwindling.

Because men are so one track minded, they are often oblivious to other things that are happening around them. So, your husband may be in the garage fixing the car and you call him in for dinner because it's ready NOW. What happens? He trudges in from the garage to appease you, but completely frustrated because he didn't accomplish his goal. Or, here's the one I'm guilty of most often: Telling my husband I'm ready to leave NOW. Then I realize that my husband is in the middle of a project and doesn't even have shoes on. Now we're both exasperated.

Today's challenge will go through the weekend. Give your husband a "2-minute warning" (customize the time for your unit). Do this before meals, before leaving, before any event that you believe will take him away from something he's working on. This will help him prioritize his time and accomplish a goal before moving onto the next task.

For those of you without your spouse at this time - practice this on your children. Men and children are much the same in this respect. They have great intensity when working on a given task. So, at the end of the evening, instead of saying I need you to pick up the playroom NOW - say, "Honey, I'm going to set the timer for 2 minutes. When it goes off, I'd like you to pick this room up." That way they have time to mentally disconnect from one task and move on to the other.

Day 2: The Bandwagon Stops Here!

Wikipedia says this of the Bandwagon Effect:

The Bandwagon effect, also known as social proof or "cromo effect" and closely related to opportunism, is the observation that people often do and believe things because many other people do and believe the same things. The effect is often pejoratively called herding instinct, particularly when applied to adolescents. People tend to follow the crowd without examining the merits of a particular thing. The bandwagon effect is the reason for the bandwagon fallacy's success.

The bandwagon effect is well-documented in behavioral psychology and has many applications. The general rule is that conduct or beliefs spread among people, as fads clearly do, with "the probability of any individual adopting it increasing with the proportion who have already done so".[1] As more people come to believe in something, others also "hop on the bandwagon" regardless of the underlying evidence.

With today's technologies (texting, email, social networking, etc.) each of us has near instant access to someone. In times of need, particularly in our marriages, we feel the need to reach out to others for affirmation, opinions, justification, and previous experience. When we get multiple people on "our side" we can hop on the bandwagon and parade in front of our husbands with an "I told you to" mentality. If all these people agree with me - it must be so - I'm right, your wrong.

Today's Challenge:
In regards to your husband and marriage, for today, keep it within the confines of your marriage. If you can't feel like you can communicate with your spouse about your feelings - then keep it to yourself. Journal it if you must get it out, but avoid reaching out to your girlfriends. Give yourself time to mull it over, cool down, and begin to rationalize.

Love, Andrea

Husband Challenge - Day 1

Hello world! Can someone award me the worst blogger award, please? I digress....

On another site I frequent regularly I've volunteered to host a "husband challenge". In an effort to make my blog look like it actually has a purpose I though it would be good to post here, too. It is my goal, over the course of a month, to strengthen our marriages through fortifying our relationship with our husbands. So, on with the show...

Day 1: In The Beginning...

Whether you believe in evolution or creation, I think it's safe to say that most of us at least have an inkling of what the first book of the Bible says: "In the beginning God created..." It goes on to tell us what occurred over the next seven days. In those seven days man was created. It was noted that it was not good for man to be alone - then a helper was made suitable for him. Woman was made. The two were united. They were naked together and felt no shame. This is because the were so much ALIKE. That's right, in this case, opposites did not attracts. They were drawn to each other and were comfortable with each other because there were so much alike.

I know, I know, you're saying, "But Andrea, you don't know my husband. He couldn't be more different than me." Here are my thoughts on that: his differences are what make him interesting and unique, not what attracted you to him. The things that draw us to each other are a kinship.

For me, I saw in Troy a love for family, a love for God, and desire to be a hard worker. These are all things that I, too, saw in myself. Knowing those things were in his heart I knew that together we could reach shared life goals.

Challenge question: What are some ways you are similar? How have your differences and similarities strengthened your marriage?

10 Things Tuesday

Hey guys! I've neglected posting 10 things I'm thankful for for a while now. After a morning like I've had though I think it's important for me to reflect on the positive - NOT the negative. So, here it goes:

1. I'm thankful that XBOX WIFE is back to encourage us all to be thankful and to remember what we are thankful for.
2. It's suppose to be above freezing for at least the next 10 days. We haven't had any significant snow accumulation in over a week.
3. My kids truly love each other. They are best friends. I love over hearing their conversations and the joy they share in playing together.
   
4. I have the "best of the best" friends. They laugh, crying, pray, and support me. My life would feel incomplete without them. God has truly blessed me with friends that are more like sisters than just friends.
   
5. Technology is a wonderful thing. I love that despite being snow bound for the better part of December all my friends and family were a click or phone call away.
   
6. I am thankful for my children's health. In years past we have been to the doctor a hand-full of times. Winter is usually hard on us, but we've been blessed with good health so far.
   
7. My kids creativity is so exciting to watch. They love drawing, building things with play-doh, role-playing, etc. They love things like Wii, Nintendo DS, and computer time, but also know when enough is enough and get back to the basics.
   
8. My hairdresser finally gave me a hair cut I love! Thanks go out to my dear husband who finally agreed to have me cut my hair above my shoulders!
   
9. I'm thankful for the two cups of coffee I had this morning. They helped bring me out of my bad mood.
   
10. God is GOOD.
    

How about you?? What are you thankful for? I'd love to hear about them! Check out what other people are thankful for at : 10 Things Tuesday

What?! I can't hear you. It's too loud in here!

Lately, it seems like our house is uncontrollably loud. Maybe it's cabin fever - everyone and everything is expressing it's pent up energy by being 10 times louder than a "normal" day. The kids are loud - yelling, banging, singing. The dog is loud - barking at anything that moves. Anything that plugs in is loud because it can't be heard over all the previously listed cast of characters. The mom (me) is loud because it seems that no one can hear me. "What?! I can't hear you. The _______ is too loud!" It's exasperating!

In the midst of the the chaos, it's easy to get overwhelmed. This week I'm starting The Love Dare. It's geared towards improving your relationship with your spouse. Day one has spoke to how I react to my family and it's current volume. The key verse is "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 The authors go to say that "when you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation."

So, I've asked myself, "Does raising my voice to be heard over the chaos show gentleness and patience?"

Obviously, the answer is no. Today is my goal is to speak with gentleness and patience to my entire family. The Love Dare authors remind its audience that "few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person." I want to be easy to live with.

How about you? How do you react in the midst of chaos? What goals do you have for yourself today? What would make you easy to live with that you currently lacking?

Sunday Morning

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Looking Back on 2008

January:

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
Our first snow family built to ward off the winter blues.

February:

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The hubby and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary at the Rock City Grill.

March:

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Easter egg hunting is done in the snow this year.

April:

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We are blessed with good weather and family starting to visit after a long winter.

May:

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After a long winter, the rivers rise and rise and rise....

June:

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Birthdays are celebrated with friends.

July:

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Look who's THREE!!

August:

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We travel to Boise, ID for the Phifer Family reunion.

September:

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Look who's starting school! Time flies...

October:

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Finally FIVE - he was so excited!

November:

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This year we celebrated Thanksgivingmas, since we weren't going to see family over Christmas.

December:

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December has been spent digging out of record snow, spending time with friends, and celebrating Jesus' birthday!